This is the time of year when love is on everyone’s minds as we just celebrated Valentine’s Day. Some singles were feeling lonely, wishing they had a Valentine in time, and if they didn’t, they might’ve felt defeated. Couples are scrambling for what to do so that their significant other doesn’t feel neglected on Valentine’s Day. The truth is that this day is just another day. We should be in our loving, and love should be on our minds all year round, and we should be making our significant others feel special, whether it’s July 23rd or February 14th.
In many ways, the whole month of February is about love, but the whole year should be about love. Setting aside a day, a week, a month of romance is an incredible way for couples to re-connect. People are busy, and sometimes they don’t prioritize their romantic relationship.
The truth is that love is the most essential aspect of life.
We should be honoring our significant others every day; however, the reality is that it doesn’t always work that way. Do your best to be intentional about cultivating the time to express how you feel to one another, re-igniting and remembering your love for each other.
Romance distinguishes a relationship from a friendship or family relationship, and it’s the greatest gift and most incredible feeling to be in a romantic relationship. Connecting romantically can truly catapult your relationship and set the standard for your relationship all year round. I recommend setting intentions for how each person would like to show up for one another for the year ahead (and beyond!).
Five Ways to Love More
#1 Practice Empathy:
Very simply, put yourself in your significant other’s “shoes.” The reason why couples can’t understand each other and they stay in a place of complacency is due to one or both parties’ inability to practice empathy, so do your best to try and feel what it would feel like to be experiencing what your significant other is saying they are feeling.
#2 Tell the People you Love (*especially your significant other) That you Love Them:
As you’ve all heard by now, there are the “5 love languages” that Gary Chapman invented. I believe that whether your love language is “words of affirmation” or not, we all need to hear from our loved ones that we are loved.
Take it beyond “I love you.” Tell people how grateful you are for them and WHY. When we hear from someone verbally how much they love us and why they are appreciative of us, it makes us feel good. The thing about “I love you” and sharing feelings, in general, is that you should never assume that someone knows how you feel about them. At my wedding, in my dad’s speech he mentioned that his two favorite girls in his life are my mom and me and even though I have always felt loved from my dad and we say we love you all the time, there was something in those words that meant the world to me. Those words were powerful because that was something that HE knew that I just wasn’t aware of and it completely warmed my heart.
#3 SHOW your Love:
Many times, the best, most beautiful, and impactful way of making someone feel loved is by showing, not just telling someone how you feel. This can be done in many ways; through spontaneity and creativity. Plan a surprise dinner or getaway for your loved one. The goal is to make your significant other always feel special. When someone takes the time to plan something for us, it reminds us that we matter.
Couples live busy lives, and unintentionally, through the monotony of everyday life and the level of “busy-ness” with work and kids (if kids are in the picture), the priority of each other can fall by the wayside. So being spontaneous, creative, and surprising your significant other can SHOW you care. As they say, “Actions speak louder than words,” and I couldn’t agree more. Although I could never get enough of hearing “I love you” and saying “I love you,” it’s always amazing to be surprised, showered, and shown love as well.
#4 Reach out:
Now that we’ve covered romantic relationships let’s move on to all of our relationships. Our relationships with our family members and friends are an important part of our lives, and the better and more connected they are, the happier and more loved everyone feels. Unfortunately, the world lost an incredible man recently with the passing of Bob Saget. As I read the articles and watched the various t.v. segments about him, I learned a lot about his way of living and loving, and it’s almost unbelievable not only how many lives he touched but also how many lives he continued to be connected to frequently despite his thriving and busy career.
It takes a few seconds to shoot a “Thinking about you- how’s everything going” text. It puts a smile on the recipient’s face, reminding them that they are being thought about. Especially in the difficult time that the world is in currently, people are feeling lonely and less connected, so reaching out is especially important now. However, the goal is to make this a way of life, not for the praise of being known as the nicest person – you do it because you genuinely care.
I have a challenge for you. I want you to pick ten to fifteen people in your life who perhaps you haven’t communicated with, in a while, BUT are people who mean a lot to you, and I want you to reach out to them to check in and let them know that you’re thinking about them and how much you appreciate them in your life… then see what happens.
When you and your significant other accept one another fully, it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give one another and adds to the overall love and adoration in the relationship. When we feel seen, heard, and loved for all that we are (quirks, idiosyncrasies, “bad habits,” and all), there might not be a better feeling in this world. So, if you feel that you have been doing a good job of accepting your significant other but could use a slight improvement, take it up a notch and go beyond acceptance into making each other feel loved even more despite their flaws. No one is perfect—an authentic relationship consists of two imperfect people who are perfect for each other.
It’s just a blip, and it goes by way too fast for us not to be spending more time loving. There’s no excuse. No one is ever too busy to show their love for another human being. The more we collectively start to express more love, the more love there will be in the world; it can make an exponential difference. And don’t think that you as one person can’t make a difference, because you can. The world will become a more loving and peaceful place one person at a time.
Why is there so much angst and againstness in the world? It’s because people don’t feel loved. People aren’t open to love. It’s easier to hate and fight than to let people in. For some, this will be the way they live their life until they are no longer here, and that’s their choice (bless their soul), but that doesn’t have to be you. You can cultivate more love in your life starting today.