Do you have a must have list for your date to pass from date #1 to date #2? Do you find yourself scrolling through profiles online and dismissing 99% of them because they just don’t make the cut? Having high standards is mega important and I encourage you to have them, as it shows a genuine respect for yourself and what you deserve. In addition, if you truly do respect and love yourself, then you will do what you can to maximize the opportunity to meet the right guy or girl for you. This means letting down some walls and guards, and being a tad more open-minded to something that might be slightly different from what you were looking for in the past.
While lists are important for what you want in a partner, getting too specific may cause you to pass over a mate with a lot of long-lasting juicy potential.
Of course you’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” and sometimes you roll your eyes at the message, but hear me out!
If you can change your outlook on dating to a more open-minded one, your life will change… more specifically, your LOVE life will change.
Let’s go back a few years to the fall of 1999, the year I graduated college (ok that’s more than a few years ago but you get the point). I was probably the pickiest single girl out there. My guy had to be at least six feet tall (preferably at least 6’1” or 6’2”), dark hair, nicely built and had to like sports (not that I like sports but HE had to… doesn’t make sense, but I had my reasons).
He had to have a nice head of hair and, if he had facial hair that was a bonus. I liked the facial hair to be around day four post-shaving. Ok I’m exaggerating but yes, a little scruff on his face was ideal. He had to look put-together but he couldn’t be too nicely dressed because that would mean that he was into fashion or something and that wasn’t manly to me… so you get my point…. I WAS PICKY!!!… until I had an eye-opening experience.
I was asked out by a guy who I had met briefly at a fundraiser. A mutual friend had introduced us. I clearly was so not into him when meeting him that I hadn’t given that encounter a second thought. I accepted the date because I thought I had nothing to lose and I didn’t want to disappoint our mutual friend. He took me to a lovely little Italian restaurant and the date started out like any other date. There was small talk and interview-type conversation. As I honed-in and started to really listen to him talk about his life, I found myself feeling something for him. He became so much more than just what I saw with my eyes and what I had known about him on paper. He was a good man who through his words showed me that he was a kind soul. He loved his family (big points), had passions and interests outside of his job and that was intriguing and attractive to me. He was a philanthropic person. He happened to have a very demanding job and didn’t have a lot of extra time on his hands but the fact that he took the time to help people that were less fortunate than him was UBER yummy! So, there I was in the middle of enjoying my rigatoni primavera, and I found myself enjoying him also… like really enjoying him. I’m a pretty smiley girl, but this was taking it to another level- my whole body was smiling. How could this be happening? An hour earlier I hadn’t been the slightest bit attracted to this human being and there I was experiencing something for the first time; Attraction after an initial non-attraction… mind-blowing.
Attraction grows as you get to know your partner:
I had always heard the concept of attraction growing after getting to know someone, but I personally had never experienced it, until that evening. We dated for a while and ultimately, he wasn’t the right man for me, BUT what I learned from that experience was life-changing! From then on, I went into every date with an open mind because I knew what could happen if I didn’t judge and I was open to every and all possible outcomes! That’s how I live my life today, and that’s how you manifest. When you have no attachment to the outcome of anything- small or big, then you are open, and the universe knows that it can deliver to you what you need – being open is being FREE… free from yourself and all of the barriers that we as humans tend to build against love without even knowing it.
So, my message to you is to stay open and watch what incredible experiences come your way…. Oh, and feel free to let me know when they do.