Not all dates turn into true love as we all know, however some of them do and your time is going to happen sooner than later if you are open to it! When that time occurs you will obviously be in heaven and relishing in the glory and joy of the relationship, however after you’ve been dating for a while, some soul searching will need to occur before you know for sure if this is your “Person.” Be careful not to be tricked into thinking it’s “Authentic Love” if it’s not. You will only be wasting your time and your partner’s time- time away from them being able to find the person they are supposed to be with also. If you have little gnawing feelings in the back of your mind, take a closer look. Be honest with yourself. Can you truly see yourself being with this man or woman for the rest of your life? Do you feel deep down in your gut—-in your bones, that you have found your “Person,” the one who came to this earth for you? Do you adore him or her with all of your heart? Do you like them? Yes, it’s underrated but a lot of people surprise themselves when they realize that they love the other person, but they don’t like them. Oh, that’s a RED FLAG! Do you feel that you are compatible in life, love, humor, serious times? Are you emotional equals? Do you feel that your love is strong enough to get through anything?
My mom once said, “Jaime, make sure that you are over the moon for the guy because in a marriage there are a lot of moons to go over.” Yes, I was shocked that was coming from my mom who is completely in love with my dad. So, I suppose that was refreshing knowing that their marriage isn’t perfect like I had thought it was. Her point, is if you are truly in love, you can get through any hurdle and you get through it together. And what I’ve learned from my own marriage is getting through tough times, can make you stronger as a couple.
Think back to the weddings you attended where you could viscerally feel the love between the couple standing at the altar. There was no doubt that they were going to last and they were supposed to be together. As you watched the bride and groom profess their love to each other in their speeches, what are some of the things you heard? Did you hear things like,
“I can’t get enough of you.”
“I want to grow old with you.”
“I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else”
“You inspire me”
These aren’t just cheesy things made up just to say. They’ve been said time and time again throughout history, and for those couples who are supposed to be together, they mean it from the bottom of their hearts. You can tell when they really mean it and when they do, it’s beautiful and magical.
When you get to the point where you feel that you have found your forever man or woman, and you can imagine saying those things to him or her and them saying it back to you while getting emotional all the while, then my dear, you have found your lobster. Mazel Tov!!!
If you have ANY doubt, the answer should be no. If you are making excuses as to why you should get married but in your heart, it doesn’t feel right, then he or she is not the one for you. This is your life and if you want to avoid going your separate ways in the future, I want to save you from entering into a marriage where ultimately you aren’t happy in the end. I don’t care if you are 50 and you haven’t gotten married yet, there should never be a rush on love.
My goal is to help you really look inside and acknowledge how you truly feel on a soul level. Erase the rest of the world – it’s just you, and your heart – how do you feel? The cool thing is when you use your intuition and you check in with yourself, you will always know the answer.
People waste so much time agonizing over decisions. If you can just slow down for minute and look inside and talk to yourself, there’s a wise person inside who will always be available to you to guide you to making a decision that is right for you. No one knows you better. You are the expert of you. It’s quite empowering when you think about it. So, take the time, look inside and feel that amazing feeling of truly knowing yourself and what makes you happy- that’s true empowerment and truly one of the best feelings in the world.